So Angry

I have to write, just don’t know what else to do, I’m shaking and want to – actually I don’t know what I want to do.

The wanker came over yesterday to pick up the kids and discuss our settlement.  As we are about $50k apart in what we both want, my lawyer suggested maybe splitting the difference.  I suggested that to him, in effect giving him a 40% share of our net assets.  I told him that I understood that he feels that as the ‘breadwinner’ since the kids came along, he feels that he should get all the cash we have available and I understand that while he wouldn’t and shouldn’t have to start over – he can.  He has an investment property that he can sell, and basically he has options.  On the other hand, I don’t have any options.

Once again, he mentioned that he needs a deposit for a house, etc, etc.  I informed him that he’d like a deposit for a house whereas in fact he could rent but I understand that he wouldn’t and shouldn’t have to go down that route.  Once again he mentioned that he wants to have something to give the kids in the future.  I said the kids don’t really care what you can provide when you die, they need a roof over their heads NOW! 

I went on to explain my position with Centrelink and having too much money in the bank, etc and that I have to purchase a house and can only borrow a small amount.

At one stage he even threatened to get a court order to have our legal fees taken out of the asset pool, I hit the roof and told him he’d have a fucking big fight on his hands if he tried that.

As usual he didn’t make any suggestions, just asked for a copy of the spreadsheet that I’d shown him which he then took and said he’s think about it.

I actually thought that I’d gotten through to him but apparently not. 

When he dropped the kids off this morning, he said he wanted $60k (which is just over 50%) or we go to court.  This equates to $25k less to me which would also leave me without enough to buy a house.  I assume that Centrelink would cut me off and I’d have to use any money that I did have to live on.

I just can’t believe that he doesn’t care about the kids’ well-being, it’s all about what he wants.  Surely he knows that if this went to court that he’s not going to get more than 40%, and that whatever he does get will be eaten up in legal fees?  I don’t know what’s gotten in to him, why is he being such a cunt (sorry – very angry!).  Have I hurt him that badly?  Surely he knew the marriage was over for years before I actually did anything about it.

Why is he doing this?  It’s like he’s doing it just to be spiteful, whereas all I want is a safe home for the kids.  I don’t care if I have to rent for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t like it but it’s not such a big deal, why has he taken this stance?

So angry and I know I won’t get any sleep tonight, I’m full of the flu and feel like shit.  My ears are blocked and I can’t hear anything.  Been crying all day – I’m okay, not depressed or anything like that just really fucking angry. 

Not a good day people.

Will keep you posted.

Talk soon

Doodah