We can only hope

So, I’ve seen the lawyer, who told me I’m entitled to 60 – 70% of our net assets.  I already knew that – thing is, the wanker disagrees.  All I hear from him is that I need this and I need that, I don’t think he’s even considered what his children need.  I don’t know – like a roof over their heads!

The problem is that while we have a couple of hundred thousand from the sale of our house, he also has plenty of assets where I have none other than less than $7000 in super.  He has an investment property, a couple of cars, a boat, a lot of super, etc but he needs to have cash so he can start again.  Sorry mate, I’m the one who needs cash to start again, moron!

He earns a really good wage and can easily start from scratch.  He just doesn’t want to.  I, on the other hand can only have so much in the bank before Centrelink cuts me off.  I have to buy a house, I can only borrow about $50 000, so if he thinks I can find a safe, decent home for around $210 000 somewhere on this planet, I’d like him to show it to me. 

The wanker has had legal advice which told him that the least I would get is 60% so why is he offering me 52%?  That’s a difference of about $30000! 

So I told my lawyer to proceed, I’m sick of him trying to rip me off.  They suggested we try once more to come to an agreement before proceeding.  And they want a $3000 upfront retainer to go ahead with any work.  I’m on a pension, people!  I don’t have $3000!  I’ve emailed the wanker and told him that I think we should try to come to an agreement but in person as everything seems to get misconstrued via email (which is how we communicate!)

He’s agreed and is coming over tomorrow to discuss.  We’ll see how that goes.  I really hope we can come to a decision.  I’m so over this and want him out of my life.  Yes, I understand that will never happen because of the kids but we can only hope.

Talk soon

Doodah

Procrastination

I cleaned my fridge, it took me a couple of years to do it but I finally did it.  Obviously it didn’t actually take me two years to clean the fridge (it took about half an hour!) but it took me that long to get around to it.  I think I hate cleaning out the fridge more than cleaning the oven.  Mind you, the last oven I had was a self-cleaning one. 

The fridge wasn’t that bad, there was nothing growing in it or anything.  The shelves were just sticky from various spills.  Now though, every time I open it, I’m amazed at how fresh and clean it looks and can’t believe I only spent 30 minutes of my life to get it in that condition.

So why do we procrastinate about the silliest and mundane things, especially when most of these things only take a short amount of time to do.  Just crazy!  But then, it did take me three years to leave the wanker.  Well, actually I did it twice. 

The first time, I was emailing a friend who knew that I wanted to do it.  And as I typed the email, I thought, bugger it – go and do it now!  So I did.  It wasn’t that hard because in my mind the marriage had been over for about 18 months already.  Anyhoo, he agreed and I slept really well that night and in the morning I felt like I’d dropped half my body weight, such a feeling of lightness - a heavy weight had been lifted.  I felt free, I took the kids to playgroup, told my friends that I’d ended it.  But when I got home, he was crying and asked if we could try again.  He didn’t want to lose his family.  It has since become apparent to me that it’s all about him, his needs and wants – I’m so over it!

Anyhoo, as much as I wanted to say NO, I caved and suggested that maybe we could treat each other with some respect and see what happened over the next couple of weeks.  Another 18 months later, I broke it off again.  Nothing had changed (especially my procrastination apparently).  This time though, it’s for good.

Thinking back, I really shouldn’t have taken him back.  At the first split, we discussed a lot in a short period of time, about the future of the kids, us, etc.  He said he would buy me and the kids a house (from the proceeds of sale of our home) and he would get a mortgage for himself. 

This time around, everything’s changed and we wants half, which means me and the kids will have to live in a shit-hole because that’s all we can afford.  While he lives in a house worth twice the amount of ours. 

We haven’t been able to come to an agreement because he doesn’t think I deserve much for some reason.  But now that I’ve spoken to Centrelink and I know they’re not going to cut me off because I have a lot of money in the bank (we’ve sold the house), I’m happy to wait for as long as it takes to get my fair share, even if it means heaps of legal fees and waiting a couple of years.  I’m seeing a lawyer this week. 

I wonder how long it will take me to clean the fridge again!

Talk soon

Doodah

What Is It With Kids And Vegies?

As babies and toddlers, my kids ate anything especially Master R.  Now, if they see a vegetable, they won’t eat it.  Why do kids do that? 

I’ve deliberately never told them that veggies are good for them, although now, I tell them they need veggies to get big and strong.  But when they were younger I didn’t treat veggies any different to any other food, so where do they get this notion that veggies are horrible all of a sudden?  And why?

Last night I pureed up some potato, pumpkin, cauli and broccoli, whipped up a cheese sauce and made a pasta bake.  I left some whole pieces of broccoli florets to mix through because I knew what would happen.  And sure enough I received the following comments.  “I won’t eat this, it’s got vegetables in it!” and “I don’t like broccoli, I’m not eating it!”  Surprised? Ahem, no.

I suggested they put the broccoli to the side and try eating the rest, they did and gobbled it all up and said it was yummy!  Most of what they ate was indeed vegetables.  I think if I didn’t put the broccoli bits in there, they wouldn’t have eaten any of it but by putting it in, they felt as though they were taking all of the vegetables out.  Good thinkin’, mum.

I just want to know how far away is the night when they’ll just eat whatever I’m eating.  They even pick out pieces of tomato, etc from spag bog! 

I’m not sure if it’s right to hide their veggies or to tell them they’re in there.  I make sure they try things before they say they don’t like anything.  Of course, this means that they take the smallest bite possible…smartarses.  Then, they inform me that they don’t like it, although there have been a couple of wins here and there, where they do actually like it and eat it.

Why can’t they just eat a salad, instead of all the pasta they consume, then maybe I wouldn’t have to be on a diet all the time!

Talk soon

Doodah

The Size of Things

Just found Master R in the toilet with a magnifying glass – he is his father’s son! – Seriously, not even trying to be funny.

I Fell In-love With My Daughter Again

Fell in-love with my daughter all over again today.  Don’t know why, she just looked exceptionally beautiful today and was expressing herself really well and showing her maturity – well as mature as you can get at 4!  She was having conversations with me instead of the usual noisy jibber-jabber.  A couple of hours later and it’s all over – she just started talking and singing about bottoms.  I hate it when she does that.

I’ve recently started visiting http://www.rrsahm.com/ - she’s going through so much at the moment and I’ve been going back over her old blogs and I came across one about what kind of parent did you think you were going to be?

Wow, what a thought, says she whose children are still up at 8:45pm – hey, it’s Saturday!  However, I think I’ll put them to bed (well, I’ll try anyway!) and come back…didn’t work, they’re busy watching Dora – have I mentioned how much I hate Dora? Ola!  As long as they’re not annoying me, I don’t care too much – maybe they’ll sleep in.  Every parents wish!

Back to what kind of parent did I intend to be - I just didn’t want to be like my mother – that’s it!  She’s okay, some people seem to like her…I don’t.  I think she was a shithouse mother, something I’ve only really realized since becoming a mother myself, and I just don’t have any patience with her, she gives me the shits.  She’s the kind of person who’s an expert on things that she knows nothing about.  She’s got all this advice but she doesn’t know what she’s talking about – really frustrating!

I was the third and last child and I think she’d given up by the time they had me.  I’m 44 and my parents have never told me they love me.  I get really emotional whenever my friends tell me that or do anything for me (like help me with anything I needed during my marriage break up and stuff)  I’m tearing up as I type now, for god’s sake.  When I got my first period, my mother noticed my blood-stained knickers in the wash and asked my why I didn’t tell her I had my period.  I don’t know what I said at the time but I should’ve said, “Because you never told me they existed!”  Seriously, she never mentioned periods or anything else to me.  Of course I knew about them but I guess she expected my friends to inform me – I don’t know.

My dad died from a massive heart attack in 1999, I still miss him heaps, he was a great guy who put up with a woman who just didn’t seem to care about him.  There was never any loving, physical contact between them, in fact as soon as my elder sister moved out of home, my mother moved in to her bedroom – they would’ve only been in their 40’s.  Mind you, that happened to me too, but that’s another blog about my own marriage!

So now, I put up with her, I never ring her, she seems to phone me about once a month.  She doesn’t know how I feel although I don’t try to hide it.  She knows that she gives me the shits but she doesn’t know that I actually don’t like her. 

I’ve gotten completely off-track.  I’m a terrible parent – I don’t do craft (I just can’t be bothered even though it’s one of the few things that my kids love and keeps them going for an hour or so), they watch TV all day – no, not just an hour here or there.  It’s basically on all the time.  Gotta love ABC for Kids!  I’m not proud of that.  Before Children, I always said that I wouldn’t use the TV as a babysitter but I’m just so lazy.  They don’t actually sit in front of the box all day, they go outside and play and aren’t overweight or anything.  I just can’t be bothered playing with them, I’d rather tend to my crops on Farmville.  The list of bad parenting goes on and on. 

However, I tell them that I love them all day every day and I give them heaps of kisses and cuddles (all the stuff that I didn’t get growing up) and they love me so I can’t be too bad.  I promise to be a better parent.

Talk soon

Doodah

A Better Day

Ahhh, one more day till school starts.  Master R has kept his pants on for most of the day.  I had to promise him 10 stars on the reward chart if he did!  It’s only 3pm so we’ll see how we go!  Miss T’s playing with herself (no, not like that!), I can still hear her though because she has to talk to herself out loud as well.  But I’m managing to ignore the noise.

Am calmer today, had a great sleep – the blogging must be working – like a wonder-drug! 

I have to cut down the amount of sugar the kids eat.  They’re not hyper or anything, I just know that they have too much of the stuff!  They just adore chocolate and I let them have it most of the time, so this morning when they asked for chocolate I told them they could have toast instead.  Surprisingly, they were okay with that.  Master R even ate the crusts.  Would normally give them fruit but it’s shopping day tomorrow and there is none apart from one orange that she can take to school tomorrow.

Did I mention school starts again tomorrow?

Talk soon

Doodah

I Yell At My Kids - Yep, I'll Admit It

Can’t wait for school to go back, just two more sleeps.  Miss T starts pre-primary this year, so she’ll be there all day every day – finally some peace and quiet!  She’s a great kid, love her to bits but she just doesn’t shut up.  I’ve played a game with her a few times where I’lll count to 20 and see if she can go that long without saying anything or making any noise.  She can’t do it, we get to around 9 and she has to make a noise.  Just drives me insane – I just want some peace and quiet – just occasionally! 

So today, Master R came in without his jocks on.  This is actually quite common, he’s three and toilet trained but seems to have a hard time putting his pants back on, so when he goes to the toilet (apparently outside a lot!)  he just doesn’t bother to put them on.   Today, he’d already left his pants behind and was playing outside in his jocks, after a while he came in and he was jockless, wouldn't tell me where he'd left his jocks and for some reason I just didn’t handle it well at all.

I live in a rural area, renting at the moment until the wanker and I decide what to do with the proceeds from the sale of our house.  Anyhoo, I’m on about 5 acres and I couldn’t find the jocks anywhere.  I kept asking him where they were and he wouldn’t tell me or couldn’t remember.  For some reason, I got incredibly angry and was yelling at him, swearing at him, etc.  I actually felt the need to belt the crap out of him – no I didn’t.  I don’t hit my kids, doesn't solve anything and I know that about the yelling as well, can’t seem to stop myself.

I just don’t know what got in to me today, I was so angry, near tears (which for me is nothing new – I’m the biggest sook I know) but I just felt like shit.  Maybe it’s because I’m just so tired, was cooking dinner at the time and didn’t want it to burn while I was looking for a pair of jocks for god’s sake.  So silly now, but still feel like shit.  Eventually he showed me where they were, miles away from the house! 

I’m just so angry all the time, I’m really sick of it.  I have to apologise to the kids for being angry and yelling at them, they’re okay - to the point where a few months ago when I was saying sorry to Miss T for yelling at her and she informed me that she doesn’t get scared when I yell at her.  

Great - she’s pretty cool, when I get upset (usually at my own behaviour), I cry, she gets me tissues.  Like I said great kid – just wish she’d shut the fuck up.  Unfortunately that’s exactly what I say to her and I have to stop.

So I can’t wait for school to go back.

Talk soon

Doodah